It’s a roller coaster ride when you attach yourself to the outcome. #vatip Gotta Tweet!
We want to attach ourselves to the action and moving forward. #vatipGotta Tweet!
We can’t depend on our feelings. We just have to go for it. #vatip Gotta Tweet!
I’m so glad you’re listening today. We’re going to talk about how to detach yourself from the outcome. This phrase I heard on a webinar for direct sales business owners on a training with Steve Wiltshire. It was almost a two hour webinar, but the thing that jumped out at me was when he said,” Detach yourself from the outcome.”
I had to think about that, and I was like, wow, I have very much attached myself to the outcome. When someone says “no,” taking it in, trying to figure it out, letting it stop me from the next step, and then when they said “yes,” getting excited and going forward, but if something happened down the road, getting attached to that. So you can clearly see it’s a roller coaster ride when you attach yourself to the outcome.
I thought about you. I thought about me. I thought about our virtual assistant business and how it relates to that as well. Even though we don’t physically see our clients, for the most part it’s email, it’s phone, it’s Skype, it’s social media. Most times we’re not interacting with them face-to-face. So if you talk to a prospect on the phone, they come back later, your rates too high, we’re not ready to start, or something like that, you usually get that in an email.
Have you been attaching yourself to the outcome of your consultations?
Or are you one that’s just like, oh, okay, no big deal? I’m going to guess and say at the initial reading of it you’re probably attached to it. It’s time to detach. We can’t control it, right?
The action was putting our services out there. The action was scheduling the call. The action was providing the information. The action was getting our business started. But the outcome of all that stuff, once we’ve done our part it’s up to clients to respond, and what we can do is modify based on the response, whether the response is a “yes” or a “no.”
Because sometimes we think we’re excited about a service and then we realize down the road not so excited about it anymore, or I’ve been doing this for a while. I want to do something else. So we can change our part, which is the services, the information, the know-how, and the skills, but the response – not being attached to that.
When I tell you that has been freeing for me, because it’s one thing for someone to say “no” in email. It’s another for someone to say “no” in person. This is something I’ve been working on for my direct sales business and I love the fact that the lessons I’m learning for that are crossing over for my virtual assistant business, and it makes it so that I can share with you because if it helps me, I know it’ll help you.
How do we detach ourselves from what happens on the other end with the client?
Realizing that there is no connection. We’re creating the connection. Because before the client came along, what were you doing, and will you still be doing that after the client has come along? Yes, you will. So why do we get caught up in responses?
It wasn’t the webinar I was on, it was something else I was reading about not even getting, you know, we get excited about “yes” and we think “no” is aww. But that’s not the case. You know there have been times where that “yes” and you wish they had said “no.” So a “yes” is not always positive and a “no” is not always negative. It could go either way, and so we take ourselves out of the equation and just see it for what it is.
Because when we attach ourselves, then we end up focusing on the thing that we think is negative, which is the “no.” But when you take yourself out of it, it’s not a big deal. It’s more like you’re being focused on the action. Go for it! Do it! See what happens. Try it out. Tweak it. Make it better. Keep moving forward. That’s what we should attach ourselves to – the action, the movement. That’s what we want to attach ourselves to.
If rejection has been holding you back from getting your clients, detach yourself from the outcome.
If too many clients has been keeping you from going to get your clients, detach yourself from the outcome. Having too many clients is a great problem to have. Create a waitlist. Tell them when you can do it.
If there’s somebody you really want to work with and they tell you they have a waitlist, what do you do? You’re glad you’re on the waitlist, and you patiently wait and when they come around, you’re excited that it’s your turn.
So let’s remove ourselves from the outcome. That has had me just kind of hopping and skipping around my house, among other things like my new nutrition plan that’s got me full of energy, more energy than I ever had, and getting things organized around the house and in the office.
Oh, I moved my office. I was in a spare bedroom and I realized the sun does not shine in that room, and so I’ve been downstairs for a while doing work because I didn’t like feeling like I was in a dungeon. So I’ve since moved my office to the loft area, which the sun comes in. Oh, it’s just a refreshing place. It’s better, and I can think much clearer, and again, the organization helps with that and changing diet, getting good sleep, all that stuff. It all plays into it.
Detaching yourself from the outcome, you’ll find yourself doing more, putting more things into action.
There’s something else I want to share with you and today is just totally motivational. I want to help you get to where you’re going. It’s summer. It’s hot. We don’t want to be cooped up in our house all day, or if you are working full-time, you don’t want to be cooped up in your house all weekend. You want to get out and have some fun, or get out, work in your favorite coffee shop doing client projects.
What is it that you want to do with your business this summer? That’s what I want for you.
Speaking of coffee shops, so I have to tell you I just launched the Virtual Assistant TeeShop, and you’ve got to check it out. I want you to be a part of the contest. I’m giving away a free shirt and all you have to do is go to the blog post and I’ll include the blog post in the show notes. Go to the blog post, enter your comments, and there are three things. Tell me, you know, you go to the t-shirt shop, tell me what you like, the color you like, and how you plan to use your t-shirt. You can get all the details on my website. Go to tiffanyparson.com and it’s going to be the very first blog post that you come upon relating to the t-shirt.
Now, if you are listening to this after the contest ends, because the contest is going to be – I’m trying to think. I think it’s like 36 hours, something like that. So if you’re listening to this and that time has passed, you can go to the website, click on Apparel at the top of the website. That’s for anybody, whether you’re listening to this, contest still going on. Click on Apparel and then it’ll give you details about the contest and the t-shirt shop.
If you happen to go, you don’t see the contest, that means the contest is over, but still check out the t-shirts there and get your t-shirt. This is a way to advertise your virtual assistant business while you’re out and about enjoying your day or enjoying your time in Starbucks or wherever you like to go when you’re not working from home. You have your t-shirt on, somebody will start asking you what’s a virtual assistant, and bingo, conversation has started, a potential client or someone who knows your potential client.
Let your shirt be the conversation starter.
So check that out. Tiffanyparson.com, then click on Apparel when you get there, and you’ll see the t-shirt information.
Okay, last thing I want to share with you is this TED Talk that I listened to. Oh, my goodness. This TED Talk I listened to, the ladies name is, oh gosh, I don’t want to get her name wrong. I think it’s Mel Robbins, if I’m not mistaken, Mel Robbins. I’m going to find it for you. TED Talk – Mel Robbins is about how to get yourself unstuck, and you know I’ll include the link in the show notes for you.
You can get all the transcripts at tiffanyparson.com/podcast or when you go to the website click on Podcast. I’m still learning how to say my links right in words when they’re not in front of me.
Yes, her name is Mel Robbins and her TED Talk is called How To Stop Screwing Yourself Over. This lady is phenomenal. It’s a little over 20 minutes, instead of watching TV check out her TED Talk.
Let me give you some of my takeaways on this. She said that, “Your feelings are screwing you,” and she said, “I don’t care how you feel. I care about what you want.” Get this guys, “And if you listen to how you feel when it comes to what you want, you will never get it because you will never feel like it.” I had to hear that a few times to get clear. How often do you we feel like it?
I was sharing this with my husband and he was like, you know, we were trying to figure it out. I said, “We want a smaller body.” Me. I want a smaller body. Yes, I look at old pictures of myself. I was a size 6, size 8 forever, and now I’m in double digits and I don’t mean 10 or 12, I mean higher than that, and that’s not me.
I am – I say 5’2″, but I’m actually 5’1″ and a half. [Laughs] I just round up the half, you know. But anyway, I’m 5’1″ and a half, so I shouldn’t be carrying but so much weight and I’m over that limit, and I have clothes in my closet that bring me joy that I can’t wear right now. But I will because I want to get in those sizes again.
But how often do we feel like working out? If you’re really honest with yourself, you don’t wake up every day, oh, I can’t wait to head to the gym. No. But we have to do it in order to get what we want, and her point is if we wait until we felt like working out, it might be once every two weeks, if that much.
We can’t depend on our feelings. We just have to go for it.
So any, ooh, listen to that TED Talk. Listen to that TED Talk. She also says, “It’s simple to get what you want, but it’s not easy. You have to force yourself.” I’ll let her go into more detail about the forcing.
Eye-opener – between detach yourself from the outcome from Steve Wiltshire and this TED Talk by Mel Robbins. And what your goals are, the things that have just been sitting. The fact that you’re listening to this podcast at this time as this moment, you’re going to be up and flying before you know it, whether you’re at the starting line, in the middle, or close to reaching one of your goals. You’re going to do it. You are going to do it! You’re going to do it. You’re going to act on it. You won’t be able to help yourself.
This episode is study material. You want to listen to it again and again. Get yourself moving.
You know I like to hear from you, so if you have a question, have a comment, let me know.
Thanks so much for tuning in. If you like what you heard, stay tuned. We’ll be back. Tell me what’s going on with you. Come on over the Facebook page: facebook.com/tiffanyparsonbiz, or if you prefer a little shorter message, come on over to Twitter: @tiffanydparson.
See you next time.