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Trust yourself and say yes to the projects you are excited about. #vatip Gotta Tweet!
If it’s a challenge, but you’re excited about it, that’s a good thing. #vatip Gotta Tweet!
You want enough information to know what you’re saying yes or no to. #vatip Gotta Tweet!
You’re listening to episode number 80. Today’s topic: When you have to say no even though you could use the money. It is the holiday season and, yes, we can all use more money. But there are times when it is best for you to say no.
Now, I’m not saying be crazy and turn things down when you should not. But here’s how you know when it’s something you should pass on even though you could use that Christmas money or whatever the case may be. Here’s an indication. When you get an inquiry, how quickly are you to dig through and see what is required, or do you keep putting it off? If you find yourself continually putting it off, that’s an indicator that it may not be a good fit.
When we’re excited about something that we know how to do, when we can just dive in probably that night, not that you would, you know, you want to go through all whatever your process is, but you could. That’s how excited you are about it. You could just ready to go, dive right in if you had everything that you needed and the client paid, whatever your process.
But if you feel yourself putting it off, that is a huge red flag that maybe this is something you should pass on.
The reason why you would want to pass on that, well, before I dive into that, okay, so let’s say you don’t. Let’s say you don’t put it off, but you open it up right away. If you’re reading their requirements and all of your inside is telling you no, say no. No. Say no. It’s not going to work. Say no. All you’re hearing internally is no, but you are trying to work it out anyway. Listen to the small voice. I don’t know what you call your small voice. I call it the Holy Spirit, letting me know do not go into this. It’s a no.
What’s another way to tell? Maybe you’re talking to the client and while you’re talking to them you know right then and there I probably should say no to this. But because you can’t give them a concrete reason why the answer is no, you keep pushing it anyway.
You don’t have to give a concrete reason why the answer is no.
You know you. You know your abilities. You know your time. It’s always easy when it’s a time factor, right, when you know you’re pretty booked and you can’t fit anybody in until later. That’s easy. But I’m talking about you have availability in your schedule, but it just does not feel like a good fit. Not because of the person but because of maybe the project itself.
Now, if you don’t say no and you decide to do it anyway because you need the money, here’s what’s going to happen, and I’m speaking from experience. So now when my inside is like no, no, no, no, and even though me, I’m trying to, you know, my flesh is like, well, maybe we can, maybe we can figure it out, maybe I’ll help, dah, dah, dah, still trying. But the no won’t go away, I have to say no. You feel so much better when you do.
If you don’t, if you say yes anyway, here’s what happens. You’re not going to do a good job. You may find yourself putting it off just like you may have put it off going into what was required for the project, reading the details and all that stuff, because your heart’s not in it. Remember now, internally it’s a no.
It will affect the deadline because if you don’t hop on it, you’re going to procrastinate and put it off and that will affect the deadline. It’s going to make you sick and the client upset. You’re not going to be as efficient as you normally would be. You’re not going to be your best. You are not going to be your best because the answer should have been no. This is just a quick warning, especially around this time of the year when it’s so tempting to grab everything and anything. I don’t want you to do that.
Trust yourself. You’ve been working your business all year. You’ve been working with different projects, different type people. You know what you love working with, whether you’ve narrowed down your services or not. You know those projects that get you really excited and you can’t wait until the client sends you everything you need so you can dive in. Those are the things you want to say yes to.
Now, there are times when we need to go ahead and do it anyway. You know, there are things that we have to do when we don’t want to do. But when it is no, no, no, no, no, no, no internally, listen to that. If it’s something that’s a challenge, but you’re excited about it, that’s a good thing. No’s don’t come because it’s a challenge, you know.
Anyway, this came up recently and I thought this would be great to share with you on the podcast. Because I don’t know, maybe you’ve never encountered it, maybe you’re dealing with it right now, or you’ve experienced it and said yes, like I have in the past, and wished you had said no. If that’s you, trust yourself the next time because you will know when it’s a definite yes and when it’s a definite no.
If you have any questions specific to today’s topic, let me know. You know where to find me.
As soon as I stopped the recording for the podcast, I realized there was more I needed to share with you, and that is what do you say? Sometimes it’s hard to say no, so how do you say no in a way that’s professional and understandable and leaves the door open if in the future it would work out perfectly for you and that prospective client? I decided you know what, I’ll come back another day and record the next part, which is what to say when you have to say no.
It brings to mind a funny episode of Everybody Loves Raymond. That show is one of my husband’s favorite shows. Sometimes we will watch those reruns late at night and one particular episode, Raymond’s brother, Robert, wants to propose to his girlfriend, Amy. So he goes to her parents’ house and asks them if he can marry their daughter, and the father, they’re very straight-laced strict Christian family, and so he’s looking at him with a very straight face because by this time you know that the family is not excited about Robert and Amy’s relationship.
Anyway, so when he asks the father for his daughter’s hand in marriage, the father’s response is, “No, but thanks for asking.” [Laughs] It is so funny because of how he’s looking when he’s telling him. He’s just, you know, pretty straight faced about it. That came to mind when I was pulling different examples of how you can say no, and the examples are not to say, “No, but thanks for asking.” But anyway, that’s a joke in our house to say that as a response.
Let me give you some examples of what you can do if someone sends you an inquiry and you realize this is something that you are going to have to say no to.
It’s easier to say no if it’s a time constraint or if it’s something you absolutely do not offer as a service. But when it’s something that, you know, it’s a feeling more so than a concrete thing, then that makes it a little harder to say no.
Let’s say it’s a time thing. This happened regarding a particular inquiry for webinars, and so after I received the inquiry, this was my response back, and I had enough details to know that there would be a time constraint. If you don’t have enough information, it’s okay to ask questions before you say no or before you say yes to a project. You want to have enough information so you know what you’re saying yes or no to.
I had enough information, so this was my reply back. I said, “Thanks so much for your inquiry,” and of course I said, “Hi” to the person. “Thanks so much for your inquiry. Yes, I do provide webinar services based on your request. However, the turnaround is not feasible for our current workload. The next availability I have is…” whatever your next availability is, and then I said, “Webinar services is something we plan out weeks prior to an event.” Her response back was, “Wonderful.” She says, “Thank you for your reply. I totally understand and hopefully we can work together next time.” I responded back and told her, “You’re welcome. I look forward to the opportunity to work together in the near future.”
That keeps the door open. It was simply a time constraint. It wasn’t an issue with what her request was. Had it been enough time, I would have loved the opportunity to work with her. But I know, based on past experience, if I take on something that is due the following week like for a webinar, it’s going to be a stressful, stressful situation on both ends.
Now, let’s say you’ve gotten the details of your project and you realize what it is. It’s the feeling. This is when you just know I should say no on this one. Let them know – this is after you’ve gotten the details, letting them know that you’ve taken a look at whatever it is that they’re asking you to do. “I’ve taken a look at your project request,” or, “I’ve taken a look at your social media platform,” or profiles or whatever, and then let them know that, unfortunately, you’re going to have to decline for whatever the reason was.
In this example, it was because of the nature of the website. It wasn’t a WordPress website or Shopify. It reminded me of the ASP websites and the old PHP websites that I used to do when I first started back in 2008. So I just told her, “I’ve taken a look at your website. Unfortunately, I’m going to have to decline due to the type website setup you have,” and then I gave her a recommendation on where she could go to find someone else to set it up for you.
Now, if you don’t know anyone personally, and you want to give a recommendation, always give Upwork.com. You may have a profile there. Why not return, you know, point them back in a direction where you know there are a lot of other people that would be happy to assist. Clearly the person needs someone and it’s a good gesture to point them to someone else who may be able to provide some assistance.
Let’s just say it’s flat out not something that you provide as a service, or it’s something that, you know, you’re going to have to say no to. It’s clear that the person may not understand what they’re asking you to do, or it’s more complex. Whatever the reason, just let them know, “Thanks so much for the inquiry. I’m so sorry, I’m going to have to pass on this one. Thanks,” you know, however you normally end your emails. You don’t always have to have a reason. You don’t always have to give a reason is what I mean by that. If you’d like to give it, fine, but you are not obligated to give a reason.
Those are just some examples to help you. Not to copy those exactly, but to get you to thinking about what you can say when you do have to say no. You never know, after you have said no, just like the one lady was like, “Well, hopefully we can work together on something else,” you just never know what the response is going to be.
In the situation with the website and referring her to Upwork.com, she asked me is it, you know, “If it were a WordPress website, would that be something you work with,” and can I tell you, when she asked me that, my response was totally opposite from the initial response after I looked at her website. I was like, “Oh, yes, certainly. In fact, I recommend this, and this and this.” Then I gave her a rate for what the project would be, because now that is something that I can work with, and it confirmed to me that the initial no was right. I knew it was.
But it was amazing because I had already recorded the first of this podcast, so it was amazing the feeling. I could recognize right away the difference in how my approach was to that email, and I could tell you I answered within the same day and giving out all the information. Probably also too, I had thought about this, you know, if it were a different kind of website, what would it be? You know, this is what is would be. Anyway, that’s what you can say when you have to say no.
Now, this is officially the end of the podcast. If you have any questions, head on over to my Facebook page. I am more than happy to help.
Thanks so much for tuning in. If you like what you heard, stay tuned. We’ll be back. Tell me what’s going on with you. Come on over the Facebook page: facebook.com/tiffanyparsonbiz, or if you prefer a little shorter message, come on over to Twitter: @tiffanydparson.
See you next time!
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